Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I may watch a lot of TV (please tell me some of you watched The Bachelor finale last night?!), but I am also always reading.

I was reading an educational book last month (yes, I don’t just read chick-lit…I also like mysteries, historical novels, biographies and books on topics) that had a profound statement that really got me thinking. It was something along the lines of, “If you could look into a crystal ball and know that you would be as you are now for the rest of your life, would you continue living the way you are or would you do something different?”

I gave this a lot of thought. I always assumed I would either be in a committed, serious relationship or get married at some point, but what if I don’t? Would I be ok, really, just me? This question really brought me some sort of clarity. 

If I was single my whole life, what would I do different than I am doing now? First off, there are many things I wouldn’t change- I would still work hard at my job and stay active/healthy. But what else do I wish I would do? Well for one thing, I wouldn’t waste time trying to be someone I’m not or doing things I don’t want to do to potentially “meet” someone.

In short, I would live more. I would do more. I would travel WAY more. And I would worry less. And I hate that I wasn’t thinking this way before. It’s not like I was just waiting around, but in some ways maybe I was. Maybe even though I am successful and independent, I was secretly putting my life on hold to wait for someone. And it is so silly to think that I was waiting for something and someone I’ve never even met. I mean, why do people do that? You would never pay or plan for something you didn’t even see or know about, so why do we do that with our lives?

You can think for yourself- let’s say your life as it is now (married, single, engaged, whatever), is how it will always be- what would you do differently? When you think of life like that, I think it leaves you really wanting to fulfill your dreams on your own terms. Sure your job may change and where you live may change, but your attitude on life should always be the same. It should be to live, experience and have fun.

So I am doing more- getting more involved with my job, volunteering my time for varsity soccer, singing in an a capella group, running more races (even two within 24 hours in May), going to more events around Richmond (hello Brown’s Island), being more social, playing more sports, traveling more places, spending more money, being more spontaneous and getting less sleep. But what I gain from all these things is LIFE. I have the luxury to design my life as I want it. That is a luxury many people don’t have and I am lucky. I am in no way not lucky. I have great friends and family, a good job, a steady income, my health and a pretty stress-free existence. I could dig that for my whole life (I mean my grandmom was widowed in her 50’s and is still rockin’ the single life at 90, happy, fulfilled and independent).

And if along the way I meet someone, then great. But he's gonna have to be pretty amazing for me to give up all my wonderful opportunities. 

Does that statement change your outlook?
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