It's always good to know that even when life is changing and you are adjusting and dealing with what you want from it, or even when you have a bad day or week or month, that the sun does always come up; you do go about doing things you love...spending time with friends, writing, exercising, reading...and you find that each day is a day to start over and make a change or adjust your way of thinking. I like that even though you may have been some way your whole life or even part of your life, each day is a chance to begin anew again. We can constantly reinvent ourselves. And for that I am grateful.
I wrote this back in June and was reminded of this thought the other night. When I started out on this blog, it was more of a joke- a funny thing I did in college that my roommates often pushed me to do. Then I decided I wanted to make it something more, like a journal of my life in grad school and in pursuit of a job. More and more it really has become a great reflection of my thoughts, my ups and downs, and simply what my life is like at each stage. It is becoming a great personal diary and place where I can compose my thoughts. I am getting comfortable sharing things I probably wouldn't have wanted to share even a year ago, and I am finding people saying more and more to me that they appreciate the honesty and can relate to what I post.
Where am I going with all this (this seems to be a question I often post on here along with my thoughts)? Well, there is a topic that is a bit taboo for me to speak about, simply because for years it was uncomfortable for me to bring up because I didn't want people to judge me, look at me or think of me a certain way. Only close friends and family know and as I become more distant from it, I am more and more comfortable talking about it. The bottom line is I suffered from an eating disorder the end of high school into the very beginning of college. I am not bringing this up to go into details of what it was like or how I recovered or to get sympathy, but part of the reason the beginning statement on this post is so powerful to me is because that is how I have (and had to) look(ed) at life for a long time. Each day was a new day to make it better (or make it worse) and it was with each waking sun that I moved closer and closer to who I am now. I was in control and it was up to me to make my life what I wanted it to be. Now this doesn't have to just relate to what I was struggling with, and as I have gotten older it has different meaning, but I find it is still a powerful message and thought process to have going through my head each day.
Life is hard. Harder than I think anyone ever expects it to be. You have internal struggles no one knows about and external failures that everyone sees. No one is perfect and everyone is constantly changing. I will never be 100% over my eating disorder just as someone is never 100% over the death of a loved one or a tragedy that changed their life. But we adapt, learn, grow and recharge. We make do and move on. We're all quirky and that's ok (hey, it's what makes us who we are)! We're weird. But we find passions to keep us going and avenues that allow us to reevaluate and make changes in ourselves. We become this person that may be far from where we started but closer to our true selves than we thought. We become comfortable in our own skin. We are always learning. I think the secret to life is resiliency and what better way to be resilient than to approach each day fresh and motivated to make it a good one? To take control every waking morning of your life?
So as you go into the new year, think less about a single resolution, but work with yourself every day to change your struggles or bad habits. Today is your day to be your best and to do what you set out to do. You can change everything about your life starting right now. Isn't that fabulous to hear?