I have never in my life had as much responses to a facebook post as I did this week (keep in mind, the normal posts that trigger a lot of responses have to do with engagements, weddings and/or babies, none of which I qualify for).
The post was this (with over 85 comments/likes):
The next person that tells me "I can't believe you're single!" or "you'll meet someone someday," I will punch in the face. I am doing just fine, thank you.
I haven't really spoken much about my relationship status on this blog for a while, because there frankly isn't much to talk about. I go on dates and meet people I sometimes like but often don't and nothing really comes of it. I go through phases where I date a lot and then those where I don't date much for a while. I have crushes occasionally and people crushing on me occasionally.
I am picky.
I am not going to spend my time and energy with someone I don't want to. I enjoy doing my own things and if someone isn't worth giving up that time for, I simply won't.
It's not sad. It's not tragic. Frankly, it's good. It's progress. It's the twenty-first century.
My life is just as complete, sometimes more so and sometimes less so, than people in relationships or with families. My friends are my family. My time is mine. I am lucky that I can spend so much of my time doing exactly what I want and learning about myself. I am saving, spending and investing. I am growing as an independent person who can take great care of herself. I am healthy. I am learning, exploring, doing, being and living.
It is not 1913. It is 2013.
Great, smart, and successful single people are everywhere. I know many of them as friends, neighbors and coworkers. I do not think less of them- I envy them! Their ideas and minds and way of life are invigorating, often more so than mine. I learn from them and live by them, just as I learn and live by those in relationships and with families. There are so many great ways to live life!
I simply wish it wasn't so common that people think the most interesting thing about you is whether or not you are in a relationship. Or that it somehow makes you more accomplished if you are. Or that if you aren't, it is only a matter of time before something happens.
You are not psychic. You do not know if I will ever meet someone. Telling me that I will makes me feel that you think my life is not complete until then.
My life is complete now. I am and will be fine either way. I may never have kids, but married peole don't always have kids. I may never be married, but a marriage is not always a measure of success in love nor a reflection of happiness. I would rather be alone and unhappy than unhappy and alone in a relationship. Yes, I did not always feel this way, (turns out 27 and 25 are very different from one another in terms of self-confidence and life direction), but I do now. I am growing up.
So next time you are close to questioning someone about their relationship status, really think if that is the most telling thing about them.
I hope it is not.
|Throwback to some awesome single ladies from college (only 2 in this pic are married and all are equally amazing).|