Friday, April 3, 2015

Adventures in Dating

Spring is here and life is good!

Image result for spring quote

Anyone else loving this weather in Virginia? Cool mornings and warm afternoons is my perfect weather happy place. However, I feel like it keeps me so much busier! Due to better temperatures, I have had something after work every night, and acceptance letters went out for courses at my school this week, so work has been go-go-go! It has made the week go by fast for sure, but I also feel like my brain has been mush at the end of some days.

One of the main reasons I have been so busy has also had to do with going on a lot of dates. I am trying to put myself back out there after taking a little bit of time off due to school, running and sickness. Especially now that the weather is getting better, I have more motivation to go out and socialize because I don't feel like I have to stay in a huddle under a blanket all day every day!

Dating experience. I go on more dates than most of my friends, so I have lots of stories. Most dates are actually not bad, but that is the issue. It is hard to tell someone you don't particularly want to go out with them again when the date was enjoyable. However, I have been on enough dates to know that I don't want to waste my time going out with people time and time again when the spark isn't there. So it takes a lot for me to get to a 2nd date and even more to get to a 3rd. I dated a guy this past winter for about 8 weeks and we got to probably 10 or so dates. That was a big step for me. It didn't work out, which is for the best, but I learned a lot more about myself and how to approach dating from the experience, ESPECIALLY when to go with your gut. Gotta take lessons from every situation!

Meeting guys in your late 20's is interesting and not ideal. I meet guys from a variety of avenues: work, online and mutual friends. Ideally I would love to meet someone and get to know him in the context of having mutual interests where we see each other frequently, like at work, school or running, and get to know each other as friends first. Unfortunately, more often than not, I am getting to know them while we are going on dates. I think this is the new wave of dating in the 21st century. This makes the situation difficult because you have to make decisions quicker than you normally would. I feel guilty going out and having money spent on me when I am unsure of my feelings. I typically think coffee is a great safe bet for a first meeting, and then I always keep things cheap on my end for the subsequent dates unless he does something more elaborate. I offer to pay typically after date two or if I am not feeling it anymore. 

I have never told a guy in person that I don't want to see him again (though I really should and have some friends who do that!), however, I will do it via phone. I think it is acceptable via text after one or two dates, but after that needs to be done in person or through a phone call. I find that most guys appreciate the honesty and there are no hard feelings. Occasionally the memo is not gotten...and I have a funny story about that. I typically do not give my phone number out until I meet someone in person and do not friend them on social media until I know more about them and am more serious. If things don't work out, I will de-friend or keep them only if we are friendly. Rarely do I keep them though...not to be blunt, but I don't need more friends:)

Image result for ecard i would go on dates but i am happy at home watching tv

Dating takes a lot of energy, which is why I go on spurts and then take breaks. Sometimes I do just want to sit at home and watch TV rather than go out and meet people, and that's ok .I do not put pressure on myself to make something work or feel like I HAVE to be dating all the time, because I am very happy with my life. I don't have a plan for where I need to be in 5 or 10 years...I am doing what I want, when I want, and if I meet someone, that's great, but if I don't, that's fine too. My  network of friends and activities keep me very fulfilled. I have learned that not having a life plan or expectations makes it all so much more enjoyable. I don't feel like I have to be married or have children to be happy or to give my life meaning, so that takes a lot of pressure off of dating. My biological clock isn't ticking, and I am not unhappy alone. Life is good, and I only want someone to come into it who will enhance it. I think that is why I am so "picky," but I don't believe that is a bad thing at all. 

Happiness is nothing to be ashamed of:)
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