"So, what do school counselors actually do?"

People often ask me, “What do school counselors actually do?” There is this thinking that all we do is hang in our office, drink coffee, play on the computer and occasionally meet students. That is SO not the case. But it is still a hard job to describe.

We literally do a little bit of everything.

Being a school counselor is a multi-faceted job. It’s not like being a teacher (which is why when people say I teach, I quickly correct them). I don’t grade papers, plan lessons, or teach classes (well, sometimes I do teach classes, but it’s only one lesson at a time and usually only one week or so a month). It’s not an administrator job. I don’t have to expel students, deal with discipline and manage all the employees. But it’s also not strictly counseling. I am not legally authorized to counsel seriously disturbed students or handle certain issues. I often have to refer students out for services. It’s not that I don’t want to provide them. It’s that we are a public school and legally can’t provide them.

It also depends on the level. Elementary counseling is more like teaching- you go into classrooms all the time, you run groups, counsel students, and deal with more administrative issues like testing and discipline and just the day-to-day life of an elementary school. Middle school is more group work and individual counseling because of the age and issues (hello, bullying)! It also is scheduling, setting up community resources, SOL testing, and setting up students for high school. In Chesterfield county this also means SPECIALTY CENTERS!

High school is a whole ‘nother bag of goodies.

Sometimes I feel like a secretary, sometimes I feel like a social worker, sometimes I feel like a college admissions prep master, and sometimes I am a creative writer. I wear many hats. I schedule students, change schedules, plan student’s course of study, write college recommendation letters, plan and run testing (SAT, PSAT and some SOL), deal with emotional crisis’s, meet with parents, meet with teachers, coordinate meetings, work closely with the sped department, attend IEP/Triennial meetings, enter data for on-time graduation rates/statuses, enter and fix a student’s academic history (i.e. grades- sounds easy but takes FOREVER), go into classrooms (to talk about the PSAT, Senior year, Careers, Scheduling, ect.), have lunch duty, help out administrators with student data, help students with alternative education plans, helps students get online/night school classes, work with county attendance and homebound workers, send information to schools and agencies about the students, meet with students over a wide array of topics (and always with a smile on my face!), deal with courts/case managers/outside agencies, publish a scholarship newsletter, select students for scholarships, and anything else that has to do with a student and their success in high school. And these are things I have done during my first 13 weeks on the job. The list is constantly growing.

In grad school you learn mostly about how to be a counselor. I don’t get the chance to counsel students as much as I would like, because I really am favored more heavily for academic services, but I do deal with serious issues. They tend to come in waves. I do risk assessments for students threatening themselves or others, and I deal with depression, abuse, eating disorders, unhappy home lives and issues in school. But these do not happen all the time (well they happen all the time but students do not always seek my services). When they do, though, they are my focus to make sure the student is safe. Which means I have to contact the school psychologist, social worker and outside agencies if deemed necessary. It is never easy to deal with serious issues, but it is a huge reason on why I went into this field.

So as you see, it is hard to describe what a school counselors does and the role is ever changing. The work comes in waves- November and December are generally quiet months, but the beginning of the year and after January are insanely busy with finishing up college letters, scheduling for next year and summer school, and getting all the seniors graduated! It’s all fun though, and I try to do everything with a smile on my face.

But please don't call me a teacher!

Debbie Downer

I came across this sketch from SNL during its showing of the "Women of SNL" this past week. I have seen this sketch before but started crying from laughing so hard (it had been a while since I had seen it). Probably one of the top SNL moments of all time. Watch it to see why:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/debbie-downer/1087347/

That should leave you with a smile to take you through (another) long week!

A Tell-Tale Sign That I Like School Too Much

Not only do I work in a school and have only been out of school for 6 months after 19 straight years of education, but I already miss taking classes. I miss the friends I make in classes, learning from teachers, taking notes (weird, I know), reading books that left to my own devices I would never touch, and having to study. I think I just have the “school” gene. I love the environment and learning. I still am learning a lot at my job, particularly because I am new, but it’s not the same kind of knowledge. I like the theories and impractical stuff you learn in schoolJ. Screw the actual necessary mindless stuff I have to learn to do my job!

I have always thought I would go back to school. Either get another Master’s or get a Ph.D (if I have time), but I also know that life can sometimes get in the way of those plans. If I have a family it would be hard to do all that, but if I don’t or do it relatively soon, then I will have the time. But I also want the real world experience. I think that brings a whole new dimension to you as a person, and it would make me more sure of what kind of degree I want. Work experience is very important in higher education too- it makes research and theories and practical application easier to understand and apply. I was lacking that in grad school because I came straight from undergrad. So, while I was good at the school part of grad school, I wasn’t always as in-tune with the real-world experiences. I drew heavily from my own experiences in school, which was fine, but if I was further removed from school it would have been harder. But, school is school and you are either good at reading and writing and studying and researching or you’re not. Luckily, that all comes easy for me, so I am always motivated to do well. I think I could succeed in getting a Ph.D. if I get my mind wrapped around it. We’ll see when that happens.

I also have goals before I go back to school. I want to work longer and maybe even in another job. I think it would be fun to work in student affairs or admissions at a college, and I think my experience in high school counseling would be good for that. If I don’t switch jobs, I also think I will want to switch schools or levels, to get a more well-rounded experience. I will stay where I am now for 3 years, but could have some options open to me after that that would be fun to think about. I also hope to take a Spanish class this summer through CCPS or JTCC. That would be a fun AND useful class, especially since I work with many Spanish-speaking students. It would just make our lines of communication easier and would make me more marketable. It will also satisfy my need for being in school without actually being a full-time student. If it goes well, I hope to continue learning Spanish as I find courses available.

As for now, at least I get to vicariously live through my student’s in their classes (I even have them show me what they are doing sometimes to see what I remember and still can do). And when they get F’s, I freak out- how can you get an F in school??!!!

Sample Personal Essay I Wrote for my Seniors

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
- Martha Washington

        In my life, there is one thing that I have been called that I relish more than any other compliments that have come my way. It was not being called “kind” or “nice” or “hard-working. “ Instead one day my grad school classmate in passing said, “You are my perpetual ray of sunshine.” That was the most meaningful compliment I have ever received.

        It does not come easy being “a ray of sunshine.” It takes a lot of effort, especially on days when I don’t get enough sleep or have done poorly in work or in school. However, partly by nature and partly by sheer will, I am as cheerful as I can be. I smile, keep my eyes wide, laugh, listen and try to be kind no matter how I feel on the inside or what someone is saying or doing on the outside. I love it when people I was speaking to leave with a smile on their face and spring in their step. This feeling helped me find my interest in counseling.

        I wasn’t always this way. In high school my main goal was to get the best grades possible, so I didn’t worry so much about what kind of vibe I was giving people. Somehow though, I began to realize the comfort friends took in my positive attitude, my being on top of things, and how I was always just a little bit clueless, so as to provide a good laugh. I never realized I was doing it, but I always noticed other peoples’ negative attitudes (that I couldn’t stand) and the fact that whenever I was having a bad day, people were annoyed at me. As if I was never allowed to be down in the dumps? “No,” they said, “You are the one that pulls all of us together!” (They never said it in those exact words, but I took their looks to mean that). I hated the look on my friend’s faces when I was not myself. I tried with all my might to never have them look at me like that and to keep myself bright and cheerful. Of course that never completely happened, but it made me check my attitude at the door more often than not - no promises when the 5^th million person asks for a piece of gum from my stash, though.

        I learned quickly that being happy was so much more fun than being mean or sad. Even when I was sad on the inside, or in a “funk” as I call them, I tried to bring myself out of it whenever I was around people. Even throughout college, I still loved when my friends brought up stories of things I did or said that made them laugh. I like to think that I brought them joy during those years, and hold a special place in their heart. It makes me feel unique and loved.

        Needless to say, I believe that while some people are naturally more cheerful than others, happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy even when you feel bad, even when it is the hardest thing to do. There is always something to complain about (believe me, I know). But there is so much more to be grateful for. So forget that your waiter messed up your order- enjoy the people you’re with for that meal. Forget that you got a bad grade- let it motive you to do better next time. I’m sorry you don’t like your job- at least you have one. Mad that you’re having a bad hair day? Well…(that sometimes does really stink)…put it up in a new do and wear great clothes! Don’t complain about the card you’re dealt- it could always be worse. You don’t want to ever look back and think, “Man, if only I’d known how good I had it.” At my age, I already see people doing that- we’re too young to regret what we did or didn’t do! Enjoy where you are and make the most of it. Happiness is more than a motto or a mood- it is a way of life. I know that if I am happy, even if there is no reason to be, I will make someone smile that day. And that makes the world, and my life, better and a heck of a lot more funJ.

Cooking

I don’t. I microwave. I put things in the oven. I heat up soup. I put things on toast or bread. I cut stuff up. Breakfast for dinner? Why not! Cook? No. To me cooking is baking a turkey, having BBQ sauce to dip the turkey in, and making cous cous (aka boiling water and stirring cous cous in) as a side. Or making pasta and nuking (is that even a real word?) frozen veggies, and mixing it all together with marinara sauce. Then I proceed to eat the same thing the whole week, as I am just one person and a box of pasta serves like seven. To me, dinner isn’t about the creating part; it’s about the eating part. So why would I waste time making food when I could just be eating food. AND food that’s easy to make doesn’t even taste bad.  I mean really.

Not only do I not like to take the time to cook (Sorry, it just isn’t fun), but I hate having to buy food for specific recipes. When I go grocery shopping, I buy the main staples, like cereal, bread, veggies, yogurt, and fruit. Why would I waste my time and money on spices and random things that I would use once for one recipe and then have tons left over that would go untouched? I am basic. I don’t want to buy something and have it sit in my cabinet forever. I am only one person. Maybe if I was big into dinner parties or cooking for my roommates that wouldn’t be so terrible (actually, it would be kinda fun to put a huge meal together for a special occasion…hmmm). But as for now, it’s just me and having to buy a bazillion different ingredients and products that I would only use once in a while is not enticing. Baking, on the other hand, is another story. Though, as with cookie, buying ready-made baked goods is just as good as homemade stuff. This whole 21^st century world of prepared foods sure is ingenious.

I know I have the time to cook, and I know that is all you really need As long as you can read and follow directions, you can make most anything.  I just don’t want to spend my time doing it. What do I do with the time I save not cooking? Not much. But it’s just nice to know it’s there. I can read or work out or watch TV or hang out with friends. Basically I can do what I want, because I will have already made dinner, eaten and cleaned up in about 20 minutes.

Now if you will excuse me- I have some microwaving to do!

Books for Free!

It blows my mind how amazing the library is. Why did I never utilize it before? I can actually go and bring home books and not pay for them? What?

I have become a Barnes & Nobles girl. I go to B&N, read some mags, get a Starbuck's coffee, browse the books, find a book I can't live without, and buy it. Then I read the so-called amazing book, sometimes find it awesome and sometimes not, almost always wondering "why did I spend __ dollars on this?" If it's good I give it to others to read and never see it again (thereby wasting my money). If it's bad I throw it in my Book Exchange bag, where I donate books to get a certain amount of credit at a used book store. Sure, that's reusing my money, but ultimately, even though there is a nice selection of used books, I never get my full money's worth on the book I bought. Yet, I never learn my lesson. I keep going to B&N and keep buying books and other random things I don't need. I mean, I know "sTori Telling" is an essential book to read and all, but should I really pay $15 for it?

The amazing thing about the library is, since you're not paying for the book- you can read whatever you want and not feel guilty! Do I really need to read Kristin Chenoweth's bio? No, but, heck, it's free so why not! Do I really want to buy a cookbook and start cooking? No, but heck, maybe if I have some free time one day I'll use one of the recipes. As long as I renew the books before I have to pay late fees, I am good to go. I also feel that by going to the library I am somehow helping the world become a little more green, because I am reading reused books instead of buying them, which ultimately wastes more paper (oh god, not the trees!). Also, going to the library is like a civic duty or something to help my community. Isn't it?

So, as I am busy changing the world by becoming an avid library-goer, you all should really join in on my discovery. Don't let bookstores suck you in (but going to them is still acceptable if you want to read/use the internet whilst drinking good coffee or reading mags and not paying for them. I don't judge anyone about that. Magazines are too expensive to keep up with).

Tori Spelling the author. Is she a good writer? Not really, but hey, I didn't pay for it so you can't judge me!

UVA

As most of you know, I went to the University of Virginia for undergrad. I have been doing senior meetings at my high school this week, where I meet with my seniors students to discuss post-graduation options and to make sure they are getting all the classes/SOLs they need to graduate before June. Talking with all these students (and having been to UVA for homecomings last weekend) brings back a lot of memories about my college journey.

I don't know what it was about UVA that made me want to go there so bad. Probably the fact that my oldest brother started going there when I was only 12, so a lot of my teenage years were spent going to events in Charlottesville. I also saw how much he loved it, which ultimately made me more and more excited to go there (well, until the pep band was no more, and then his opinion changed). Then as I got older I realized how UVA was more than just a normal college- it was a prestigious Univeristy, with great academics, athletics (more than just football), and social organizations. I quickly became a Wahoo fan in high school and began my life-long view of hating Virginia Tech, but I really had no reason to like UVA so much. The only person in my family to go there was my brother, and my parents (and most of my extended family) were Ohio State grads and fans. I really didn't have much affiliation with the school.

Whatever the reason, I really loved UVA. I wrote in an 8th grade time capsle that I wanted to go to school at UVA, and I know my goal all through high school was to become a Wahoo. I worked hard, and probably didn't enjoy high school as much as I should have, because I had to get great grades to get into UVA. At some point during my Junior year, though, I remember changing my affiliation to Clemson (I somehow got it in my head that I wanted to go there) and began pushing UVA under the table. Then I went on a college roadtrip the summer of 2003 with my dad, and we visited the Univeristy of Georgia, Clemson, Elon, and UNC. After this trip I came to a very important conclusion: Why would I want to go anywhere else when UVA was the most beautiful and prestigious of all those schools? I loved Elon and applied there, but UVA quickly became my #1 again. I applied early decision and was lucky enough to get in.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like had I gone to another school.  I also got into Elon and JMU (I applied both places early decision too), and I was also interested in Mary Washington, but Elon was the hardest to let go of. I instantly fell in love with the school, and it would have been a completely different college experience- smaller school, private, and further away. After a rough first year at UVA, not academically but socially and personally in regards to adjusting, I wasn't as happy as I thought I would be for many different reasons. I was wondering if I had made the right decision.

However, quickly into my second year, I knew I had made the right choice. Living outside of a dorm and having a car allowed me to explore more of Charlottesville and feel more like an adult. Every year at UVA was better and better for me, and I am glad it happened that way. I got a broader group of friends, but I also became tighter with my close friends, mainly those in Alpha Chi Omega- my sorority. I was never crazy about the drinking and partying, but eventually I got better at that too and was able to loosen up and have fun. And I had a lot of fun:)!

Now when I think of college, I only think of the good times (but isn't that how it always is?). I don't think about the homesickness, the struggles of my first year, the occasional loneliness, the hard classes, the stress and the drama (though I surprisingly had very little). I think of the amazing friends I met, my sorority, date functions, parties, social events, the classes, fun in the library (yes, it could be fun), the beauty, my awesome job at UVA catering, the roadtrips and how every day I knew I would end up smiling (I know, it's cheesy, but it's true). I also recognize that I would have been happy at many other colleges and that UVA wasn't the only right college for me. But I know that going there was the best decision I have ever made.

This past weekend at homecomings, my closest friends from near and far (NYC, Florida, San Francisco) came to UVA and we all got to spend the weekend together. We went wine tasting, shopped and ate on the corner, tailgated and partied and enjoyed the beauty and environment that is UVA. One of my friends and I reminisced while walking home from the football game about how we miss just about everything about the University. I think I will always miss what I had at UVA, but I know it was more than just the school- it was the amazing friends that I made that made my college experience what it was. In some ways I glad it's over, because I know it was only as special as the people I met there and couldn't last forever, but I know I will always miss that time in my life. Ultimately, though, UVA brought me to where and who I am today. I love who that is.

I feel honored to have gone to UVA, and only hope that my students can have the kind of college experience I did- where ever their paths lead them.

 

But, as for me, God bless Mr. Jefferson's University.