We Built This Schmidt-y

Because quotes are fun, it was 72 degrees today (on February first- hello, global warming?!), I got in an awesome run after work, and I think New Girl is the funniest show on air now:

Julia: Hey, so living here is probably fun, right? There are, like, lots of girls coming in and out of this place?
Jess: Schmidt’s like Ellis Island in the 1800s: He accepts everyone.

Nick: Jess, Schmidt's world is different than ours. They speak a different language. They shorten every word to one syllable. Okay? He once called an oven an "ovs." He calls an airport "airp."
Winston: They call ketchup "ketch."
Nick: Last month he went to a party called "Bros Before Hos... on the Moon." What does that even mean? And the dress code was Yacht Flair!
Winston: He has a friend who legally changed his middle name to "Doin'it." Just one word -- Doinit.

Schmidt-isms: Lightning Round!
"Ooooh, Jess. I just found a Groupon for hypnosis lessons. Think what we can do with that... sex stuff!"
"Guys, has anyone seen my good pea coat?"
"Have you seen my shark skin laptop sleeve?"
"Darn it! Has anyone seen my croquet cleats?"
"Hey Jess [lifting up expensive watch], have you seen my other timepiece?"
"Nick, I came up with the best name for an uncircumcised penis: Bishop in a Turtleneck!"
"Damn it! I can't find my driving moccasins anywhere!"


Girls RULE monologue:
"Okay, hey! I have something to say to you, man! I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots. I have touched glitter in the last 24 hours. I spend my entire day talking to children, and I find it fundamentally strange that you're not a dessert person. That's just weird, and it freaks me out! I'm sorry I don't like Murphy Brown. And I hate your pantsuit, and I wish it had ribbons on it -- or just something to make it slightly cuter. And that doesn't mean I'm not smart and tough and strong! I'm about to go pay this $800 fine, and my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch."

How can you not laugh at at least one of those? I love this show. It is quickly taking over for my other favorite comedy Happy Endings. 

Happy Hump Day!