Adventures in Dating

Spring is here and life is good!

Anyone else loving this weather in Virginia? Cool mornings and warm afternoons is my perfect weather happy place. However, I feel like it keeps me so much busier! Due to better temperatures, I have had something after work every night, and acceptance letters went out for courses at my school this week, so work has been go-go-go! It has made the week go by fast for sure, but I also feel like my brain has been mush at the end of some days.

One of the main reasons I have been so busy has also had to do with going on a lot of dates. I am trying to put myself back out there after taking a little bit of time off due to school, running and sickness. Especially now that the weather is getting better, I have more motivation to go out and socialize because I don't feel like I have to stay in a huddle under a blanket all day every day!

Dating is...an experience. I go on more dates than most of my friends, so I have lots of stories. Most dates are actually not bad, but that is the issue. It is hard to tell someone you don't particularly want to go out with them again when the date was enjoyable. However, I have been on enough dates to know that I don't want to waste my time going out with people time and time again when the spark isn't there. So it takes a lot for me to get to a 2nd date and even more to get to a 3rd. I dated a guy this past winter for about 8 weeks and we got to probably 10 or so dates. That was a big step for me. It didn't work out, which is for the best, but I learned a lot more about myself and how to approach dating from the experience, ESPECIALLY when to go with your gut. Gotta take lessons from every situation!

Meeting guys in your late 20's is interesting and not ideal. I meet guys from a variety of avenues: work, online and mutual friends. Ideally I would love to meet someone and get to know him in the context of having mutual interests where we see each other frequently, like at work, school or running, and get to know each other as friends first. Unfortunately, more often than not, I am getting to know them while we are going on dates. I think this is the new wave of dating in the 21st century. This makes the situation difficult because you have to make decisions quicker than you normally would. I feel guilty going out and having money spent on me when I am unsure of my feelings. I typically think coffee is a great safe bet for a first meeting, and then I always keep things cheap on my end for the subsequent dates unless he does something more elaborate. I offer to pay typically after date two or if I am not feeling it anymore. 

I have never told a guy in person that I don't want to see him again (though I really should and have some friends who do that!), however, I will do it via phone. I think it is acceptable via text after one or two dates, but after that needs to be done in person or through a phone call. I find that most guys appreciate the honesty and there are no hard feelings. Occasionally the memo is not gotten...and I have a funny story about that. I typically do not give my phone number out until I meet someone in person and do not friend them on social media until I know more about them and am more serious. If things don't work out, I will de-friend or keep them only if we are friendly. Rarely do I keep them though...not to be blunt, but I don't need more friends:)

Dating takes a lot of energy, which is why I go on spurts and then take breaks. Sometimes I do just want to sit at home and watch TV rather than go out and meet people, and that's ok .I do not put pressure on myself to make something work or feel like I HAVE to be dating all the time, because I am very happy with my life. I don't have a plan for where I need to be in 5 or 10 years...I am doing what I want, when I want, and if I meet someone, that's great, but if I don't, that's fine too. My  network of friends and activities keep me very fulfilled. I have learned that not having a life plan or expectations makes it all so much more enjoyable. I don't feel like I have to be married or have children to be happy or to give my life meaning, so that takes a lot of pressure off of dating. My biological clock isn't ticking, and I am not unhappy alone. Life is good, and I only want someone to come into it who will enhance it. I think that is why I am so "picky," but I don't believe that is a bad thing at all. 

Happiness is nothing to be ashamed of:)

Goal for the Weekend

Since I had been under the weather this past week and had to run around more than usual due to meetings at work and school, I was in the mood for just about nothing this weekend. In fact, my goal was to get in my car as little as possible. I succeeded in only driving 12ish miles the whole weekend, and that was only to a birthday party and volunteering event (all in one trip). Sadly, though I didn't spend much on gas this weekend, I did get a $60 parking ticket, so that pretty much ruined any hope of mine to be thrifty for a few days. Damn you, City of Richmond! This is actual my first parking ticket EVER, so I am probably due. I street park all the time in the city since I live there, so I have gotten very lucky. I am tempted to not pay it since the ticket has my license plate incorrectly listed...so I feel like I COULD get away with it, but paying even more would really suck.

I felt good enough to get two runs in this weekend after taking the majority of the week off, and my appetite finally came back. I am really working on listening to what my body is craving rather than paying attention to what I feel like I should be eating (within reason, obviously). I find that I often pay attention to the clock and not necessarily to my stomach, so I am working on that. Especially with school and work, I need to be mindful of my body. This illness brought that all into perspective! I also have to say that this is the first week that I have really let myself sleep as long as I need to, and boy, it makes a huge difference! I have not gotten less than 9 and a half hours since Tuesday night, and I feel like a new person. I don't need coffee and just feel overall better. I think my happy place is 9 hours a night:) Let's see if I can make that happen more often!

Oh, and I had the most awkward encounter with someone trying to ask me out last night at Massey on the River (great event, by the way!), where I was volunteering. Note to all the single men and women out there: DO NOT, if you find a person attractive at an event, get an older friend of yours (aka someone who could be your mom), ask the girl if she would talk to you and then proceed to stand next to her WHILE SHE IS VOLUNTEERING for the entire night and try to make get-to-know-you small talk. That is not the way to someone's heart who clearly is feeling awkward and is just trying to do her job and talk to her own friends who are at the event. Just sayin'.

Final fun fact: I got fitted for whitening trays! I finally decided to treat myself to trays since I buy white strips at least every year and wanted a smarter investment. The dentist did my trays for $195 and the gel only costs $6 a kit. So in just a few years, I will be saving money from the normal $30-$40 white strips AND it gets ALL my teeth, instead of just the front:)

Showcasing white teeth, but also thinking of the UVA community this week! Love my AXO's :)

Ok, enough randomness from me! Have a great Sunday and week!

Stir

For those of you currently not in the dating game, or those of you in relationships that did not involve meeting over the world wide web, let me debrief you on the online dating world. As you have probably heard, there are a variety of online dating sites. Some are free and some are not. Some are religion based, some are known for "hook-ups," and some are pretty legit (I can think of 5 couples who have met online off the top of my head). I am privy to most of the online sites because I have friends who have used just about all of them at one point or another. However, a new phenomenon in the online dating world are the social events. On Match.com, these are called "Stir" events where once a month, Match rents out a bar or social room and invites members of a certain age to come out and mingle in REAL LIFE (crazy thought, right?!). I have only ever heard about these and never knew anyone to go to one (my friends met the old-fashioned, ya know, emailing way...), so I jumped at the chance last night to join my friend, who was working the door, at the event.

It was a trip. First off, Match totally segregates it's Stir events by age. This one was for the 35-45 age group, and some of the people were NOT please. You wouldn't believe the amount of people that came to the front table to ask where younger people were and how many older men stayed around chatting with my friend and I (she is my age). It was also a great place to people watch and see what the dating scene is like for people older than I. Some were uncomfortable and awkward, while you could tell some of the former "players" in the room. Most people were semi-decent looking, but no one stood out as being incredible hot or cute, which may or may not bode well for me as I age. I did try to help one guy mingle with two ladies I thought were cute, but he didn't seem very interested in my suggestions!

The highlight (or not) of my evening was an older man (circa 45, minimal hair) who would not leave us alone, leaving me his email and telling me I was what he 'was looking for." Good to know I attract the older men. I may have to have a sugar daddy one day if I can't ever find someone closer to my own age:) The Stir events may be the place to be for me!