Far More Than Food

As you all know, some days I am pretty 'surface based' in what I talk about on here and other days I get a little deeper. Maybe it's because I had two snow days this week (with a full week off for students) and more time on my hands, or maybe it's because of other stuff going on in my life, but I have been in a very reflective, deep mood...thinking about life, health, happiness, friends, relationships, work, school, goals, ect...

Through all my reflections, I have come to the conclusion that life is pretty great. I am still navigating my own path and my opinions of which way to go change constantly, but I have to say I am good. Very good. Despite it not being perfect.

I also get in reflective moods from my blog reading, too. I have commented on here about my struggles growing up with eating disorders. It is something that I always have to keep in check since I tend to get obsessive/controlling about things, especially when I feel my life is not in my control. What frustrates me most, though, is hearing other people approach their weight/looks in the same way that I used to. I want to run up to them and yell, 'FOCUS ON SOMETHING ELSE IN YOUR LIFE! THIS ISN'T THE KEY TO HAPPINESS!" Regardless of if someone needs to clean up their diet with whole foods or exercise more, I hate how health and happiness so often comes down to weight when we know that they are not a perfect correlation. Especially working with so many women, weight is such a common topic and I find that very sad. We are SO hard on ourselves. 

I found a great post yesterday that I wanted to share parts of because it spoke so strongly to me:

It was on a morning run when the decision was made. We were running up a hill, feeling the burn in our thighs and a hunger for air in our lungs, when she mentioned her wild idea for the year. "I'm going to give up the scale." She says through labored breaths. I heard her. Offered a breathless "whoa" over out feet pounding on the pavement. The hill affords me some thinking time. It says I can do it too, give up the scale. I don't tell her because I don't want her to know I'm on board, I want to go home and see what my scale says about being on board. 

Twenty four hours later we're back on the roads, running, right foot over left. And I tell her I'm in. I share how I want to savor this year, savor myself and my food and my life and in thinking of savoring all my scale adds is guilt. So I'll join her. 

We weighed ourselves the last time on January 1st in her bathroom, sweaty and fresh off a run. And we haven't stepped on a scale in over a month. I miss it some days, when I feel tired and sort of confused about how my day has measured up against yesterday and the day before that and before that too.

I miss it because it told me how to measure my day. Days weren't good or bad. They weren't productive or restful. They lacked pride or frustration. Instead, they were a number. On light days, skinny days, better days, they were 130. Fat days, bad days, ugh days were 135. That scale told me good morning or not. It told me good afternoon or not. It helped me decide on dinner portions, lunch choices, breakfast options. It told me if I got that second coffee or not. It patted me on the back or kicked my knees out from under me. It said everything, until I said goodbye. 

And now, I decide between hunger and satiation. I let my clothes compliment me, instead of questioning their size. I measure my worth in action and deed, not weight and calories. 

Some days, I stand where that scale used to be and I look in the mirror. I look at myself, the curves and "trouble spots" and think I am beautiful because I'm me, not because of that measuring thing. I am beautiful because beauty happens everywhere, even inside of me. 

That mirror reflects my outsides, a part of me I'm happy with. I look and smile back at me, a genuine, bright smile. I am beautiful because beauty happens everywhere, especially inside of me. And that is a weight no scale is going to measure. 

So beautifully said and strikingly true in how weight can determine good or bad days. I hope that who ever is reading this can get themselves out of the "cycle of the scale" and focus on weight and food as being good or bad, and instead focus on themselves as a WHOLE person with a SOUL. Because no one will ever look back on their life on their deathbed and wish they had been able to lose those last 10 pounds. We will wish upon more time spent experiencing, living, loving and connecting with others. We need to put focus back where it is due- to people, bettering ourselves and our community and being HAPPY (whatever that looks like to you).

Have a great weekend!

Thoughts on a Tuesday

This has been a long week (and it's only Tuesday!), and here are some things that have been on my mind.

I am always very optimistic on Monday mornings. New week, fresh start! This motivation and positive outlook deteriorates as the week (and day) goes on, but for that one morning, I enjoy how good life seems.

I am also most productive from about 6 am until lunch (hence why I have started consistent morning workouts). It seems that after lunch I get tired and groggy (this is the point in the day when I need coffee!) and crave a nap around 3-4 PM. Even on weekends, I now like getting up early to get things done before obligations kick in! This does affect my ability to stay up late, but who am I kidding, I never stayed up late even when I could sleep in an extra 40 minutes before work:).

I would love a personal stylist. Just someone to take me shopping one time, pick out all the stuff that would look good on me and essentially get me to wear something other than jeans on weekends and dress pants during the week (and dresses in the spring/summer). My cousin Cara does this as her job, and I need to hire her for myself! I fully believe that how good you look has more to do with how you dress than how much you weigh.

You know that huge rush you get after you finish a really amazing long run or really tough workout? You’re all energized and proud of yourself and you’re just like, “Yup, I’ve just nailed this day. Boom.” That’s how I feel after my laundry is done, folded and put away.

I have never been so busy that I have forgotten to eat. Those people who are like, “OMG, was so busy today, totally forgot to have lunch!” Yeah, I don’t relate to those people. In my entire life, I have never missed a meal.

I love eating frozen waffles. It's weird, I know, but oh so good!

Speaking of food, I also am obsessed with Trader Joe's Puffed Wheat Cereal. It is so good and is low in sugar AND calories. It also is only made with two ingredients, so I know Michael Pollon would approve, too.

Moving on from all my food thoughts (apparently that's where my mind is these days) I really hope the most recent Bachelor Sean and his new fiance, Catherine, work out. I need to believe in this show to justify wasting so much time watching it twice a year! 

I am becoming a mean coach. Since I push myself when I work out, I expect my team to do the same when we have practice. So much for being a nice, lenient coach! Earlier this week, the girls didn't bring what we told them to bring to practice, so we punished them by making them run a lot. Robyn the counselor when coaching? Nope! I would have hated myself as a teenager. We have our first game on Thursday, though, so we'll see if it pays off!

I AM SO READY FOR A VACATION! Spain in 15 days!

I also hate daylight savings. Maybe this is why it has felt like a slow week?

Here's to hoping the week speeds up, I can go to bed before 10PM tonight (darn you Revenge and The Bachelor for keeping me up too late), and that the rain stays away until after I cross the finish line on Sunday!

Post-Technological-Apocalypse

I was sitting out by my pool last night with some new neighbors (yay!) when we got into a LONG chat about how technology is ruining our society. All three of us work in varying levels of education and we all commiserated about how students are losing social skills and respect due to technology. They don't know how to hold conversations with people, have no filter because on the internet you can say whatever you want to with little reprimand and you can hide behind your computer while doing so (which gives you courage to say things you otherwise wouldn't) and can't focus on anything that requires true WORK and PATIENCE because everything in our world is instant ratification. You need directions? Look it up! Need to shop? Go online! Need answers to any question you have? No need for a dictionary or reading through a book, google it! There is no reason for the students to understand that many things in life take a while to achieve when they have everything at their fingertips.

I am so disheartened by what technology is doing for our society that I even mentioned to my mom that that is one of the reasons I am personally hesitant about having kids- I worry about what the world is coming to (I know this is always what parent's say -"This generation!"- but I truly don't know if it is good to bring people into this world). If you know me well, you also know I still don't have a cell phone with internet. One of the main reasons for this is because I have been in too many situations where I am out in a social setting and no one is talking to each other because everyone is on their phone. People don't TALK anymore! It's ridiculous! It also is ridiculous for me to pay for internet on my phone when I already pay for it at home. And I hate that people can contact me 24/7 anyways...what ever happened to going out for the day and a phone call not expected to be returned until 2 or 3 days later? I need my privacy and space people. I don't need to be connected to everything all the time...and I wish more people felt that way. Facebook should never have been opened up for people younger than college because they simply can't handle it. AOL was bad enough when I was growing up, but the bullying and picking on people didn't compare to what is done now online. I also think that people "friend" people they aren't really even friends with, yet when they run into them in real life, they either know WAY too much about them or don't even say hi. I have begun defriending people I know I wouldn't say hi to if I saw them. Why do I need to know so much about people I don't regularly talk to?

I know that technology has done great things for research, medicine, world communication and in terms of people keeping in touch with people (I mean, I do have this blog so I can't really talk about that), but my thing is that people aren't educated enough to know how to use technology in a good way and not have it become detrimental. My generation is in an interesting position because we remember what life was like before and after (the switch happened for most of us while we were in school). These student's don't see that. They are raised in a 100% technological/internet ruled world, and no one has ever been in that position. So my question is, how can we as a society make it so that these children do not lose the skills they need to be successful adults in a social and work-ethic sense?

I think a great way would be to have facebook and twitter be only available to the 18 and up crowd!

Hom(p)eless

So I was sitting in Starbucks this afternoon reading "Envy" by Sandra Brown (check it out- good book) and a homeless man came in and sat across from me. He was mumbling to himself, staring into space. Another guy across from me on the other side was getting visibly annoyed. He flinched when the  homeless man spoke, kept sighing loudly as if annoyed, moved around in his seat and eventually got up and left. When the homeless man left, he came back. When the homeless man came back about 10 minutes later, the same scene repeated.

The whole thing got me thinking. It is so easy for us to judge others. This man's mere presence was uncomfortable for the other man, who seemingly, is very successful and has a nice life, as he is enjoying his coffee and reading his Kindle. Who are we to judge others that have less than us? We do not know this homeless man's story; his circumstances, what he was born into, what his choices were or what life he leads. But we make it about us when he comes in. It is uncomfortable for us, wrecking havoc on our time enjoying our coffee when we are taking a much deserved break. Because rarely do we stop to think about people who have less.

I stayed in my seat as this homeless man came and went. I did not move; I didn't even look his way. Because it is not my job to judge him, and if the biggest inconvenience of my day is that a homeless man is sitting, mumbling in a chair near me, otherwise keeping to himself, then I do not have anything to complain about. This is the real world and sometimes we need to get a dose of reality to bring us back to earth. Not everyone is a lucky as us and not everyone can overcome certain obstacles. And even if this man brought his situation upon himself, I should not judge him anymore than I don't judge the rich lawyer or hardworking constuction worker.

Judging is easy. Sometimes staying still and not minding is the hardest part (as the other patron demonstrated). But it shouldn't be.