Save the Date(s)!

It's gonna be a busy wedding season! Check out my fridge:

Yup, that's 8 weddings this spring/summer as of February! As I have said, I have some pretty loveable friends.

But, as I have also said, weddings bring me a mixed bag of emotions. My great friend, Meredith, who is getting married in July, suggested I read this blog she follows for wedding tips, because it also has great posts on what weddings are like for people who aren't married. The original post is here, but I cut and pasted my favorite parts below, because it puts into words my feelings towards my friends' weddings.

...At thirty years old, I’m single and I’ve never been married. (Engaged once, and that was a huge mistake. The relationship was terrible and I rushed it because of wanting the wedding.)

For years now I have listened to the messages of society about how a woman’s worth is directly tied up in her marital status. I try not to believe it, but it’s hard not to. It’s everywhere I turn. From the Huffington Post publishing an article claiming that if you’re not married by thirty the reason is you must be a bitch, to my mom’s friends gossiping about why someone is still single. “She cared about her career too much.” “She shouldn’t have wasted time with that man who wasn’t going to commit.” 

Everyone has an opinion about what a girl has done wrong to end up thirty and unmarried. All that pressure and emotion is extremely present when going to friends’ weddings. I adore my friends, I’m delighted for them when they get engaged and married. That doesn’t make it easy for me, though. 

When my closest friend from home called me to tell me she was engaged, I felt two things at once. Very happy for her and devastated that her new husband was “stealing” her from me. I mourned the loss of being the closest person in her life. I felt like her wedding was a ceremony to replace me. In a lot of ways, it was.

I know weddings are about the bride and groom and their love, but at the same time I’m battling my own inner war. I can’t make that go away. As much as I love weddings, they are always going to remind me of what I’m missing, of what I wanted for myself that I’ve not been able to get (when everything else I want is something I work toward and achieve). They fill me with jealousy, love, well wishes, remorse, frustration, appreciation, and disappointment.


Another related post, check out Not Behind, Just Different

I am actually currently very ok my relationship status (I need a dating break) and the weddings coming up (perhaps it has to do with the "Epiphanies" I posted about and an overall feeling of peace I am currently in the midst of (please stay!)), but I also know me and know that I will get down in the dumps between now and when I watch my last friend walk down the aisle this year. My goal is to try to have more joy and ENJOY the weddings, rather than feel sorry for myself or like I am missing out. Heck, maybe I will even bring a date to a wedding this year! Small steps, right?

Epiphany

I have been experiencing a lot of clarity about certain areas of my life recently (I hope this is not a bad omen…like clarity in the times before something horrible happens…), but since you never know how long clarity will last or if you will even remember WHAT THE HECK made so much sense all of the sudden, I thought I would write it down!

1. I can’t eat or drink crap anymore. Now, I learned pretty much in college that drinking was never my strong suite, but I was able to do and enjoy it without much issue during my 4 years as a Wahoo. However, I literally cannot drink anymore. One or two drinks is about all I can do without negative side effects, and even then, I would rather have Sweet Frog. Sorryimnotsorry. Sad fact, though, is that now I can’t even EAT like crap and feel fine the next day (so long to 2am pizza deliciousness). I now get headaches, feel bloated, and am tired & cranky the day after a food free for all. I guess these effects would go away if I did it more, but I can’t understand how people can get significantly overweight and feel ok. I just feel awful and don’t like doing it. I am all for going out for a big meal and treating myself to desserts, but I simply don’t love gorging myself on crap like I used to.
   
2. I would rather just sleep. You want to go out to a bar at 10 PM? I would rather just sleep. My window for doing anything in the evening needs to happen before 8 (earlier on weeknights) or else I won’t do it. When it’s dark, and I am on my couch watching TV or reading a good book, chances are that’s where I am staying. And you know what? I am finally ok with it. I used to feel so guilty when I would say I wanted to/would do something and then change my mind, but now I often just say “maybe” and leave it to depend on how I feel day/night of. And it is glorious. I can’t sleep in anymore anyways, so I really would rather be home on the weekends no later than midnight.
3. Sometimes having no plans is the best plan. I am a planner to a “P!” I love having things to do and staying busy, but I have found in the New Year that my weekends with no plans in advance actually are very nice. I can do what I want when I want and on my own time. I also am open to more spontaneity, which I enjoy. I think it is part of me trying to live in the moment, and I like it.
4. I don’t like being rushed to get ready. I can get ready in 25 minutes flat (as I have blogged about before) before work, but the thing is, I don’t like to be rushed anymore. I NEED time to wake up and get my mind ready for the day or for whatever activity I am doing next during the day if it involves showering/changing. Unfortunately, this means me waking up now around 5:45 AM instead of 6:20 AM, but I actually feel better during the day with that extra time. And I have absolutely no problem falling asleep when my head hits the pillow before 10 PM:) Oh how I wish for a slightly later work schedule....say 8-4?!

Have you had any epiphanies lately? Sound out below! And have a GREAT weekend!

This is SO true

I particularly agree with 8, 11, 13, 14, 16, 21, 22, 25, and 27! You?

Training Posts #3, #4 & #5

I wanted to take a break from posting about my training EVERY week, because I know ya'll don't wanna hear about it all the time. I am very proud of myself for doing this half-marathon, but I also know that it is just part of who I am right now, so it shouldn't encompass all I have to say! And if you know me, you know I have a lot to say all the time:)

The week of January 13-19th, I only got one run in during the week due to the rain (literally a week with no sun and rain every day), but it was a fabulous run, and I was able to cross train on the other days I would have run. I went ahead with my long run on Saturday and did another week of an increase to tackle 9 miles! It went pretty well. I was definitely more fatigued in my muscles due to not training as much during the week, but I felt pretty good up until mile 7, when my legs proceeded to feel like jello! I walked for about a minute to regain some strength before finishing up the run and completed the 9 miles in 1:31.03. My 10 minute mile pace is pretty consistent whether I go 4 or 8 miles, so I feel good about that. No sore muscles this time because I had a nice meal within an hour after the run with good protien and carbs. I do think I need to strategically place Gatorade or some type of gel pack along my route once I go more than 6 miles, because I think that will help my muscle energy after running for over an hour (and it is recommended). I will do a loop on my next long run so I can place those things somewhere.

January 20-27th was a drop back week after three weeks of mileage increases. I tried to up my weekly total miles as opposed to my long run mileage but hit hiccups in that due to a busy schedule and weather issues (hello winter!). I ran 4 miles on Monday and 3 miles on Wednesday and, with some snow on the ground, did 4.25 on Saturday and 6.15 on Sunday. I averaged less than 10 minute miles on all of my runs that week, so that is good news. Hopefully my speed with stay consistent on longer runs.

This past week was the beginning of double digit long runs! I cross trained on Monday, did a little over 4 miles on Tuesday and ran 3 in the dark on Wednesday (it was very warm and breezy Tuesday and Wednesday this week- in the 70's!). I took off Thursday and Friday to gear up for Saturday and did some good carb loading Friday night:)! I got to run with my friend Jessica and, it was VERY cold (20-25 degrees...actually felt great once we got going), but I did 10.15 miles in 1:43.03! I felt GREAT and contribute part of that to a better, slower pace from my friend and a strategic Gatorade stop at about mile 8 (we looped back to my place where we left out drinks), which helped my last few miles. I am feeling very good about the half now because we both agreed that we could have kept going for another 3 miles, even though we were glad we didn't have to:)

I am looking forward to a "rest" week before I tackle 10 miles again in 2 weeks and the 12-miler run in 3 weeks!

3 Years!

To all my dear readers, it is the 3 year anniversary of when I revamped this blog! Its true conception was the spring of 2008 while I was at UVA (albeit as a joke with my roommates), but it was neglected for a while before I took it upon myself to make blogging a bigger part of my life in January of 2010. Since then I have made friends in the blogging community, reconnected with old friends, and hit over 10,000 pageviews. So a BIG THANK YOU is in order to all my friends, family and readers I do not know for your encouragement, feedback and comments to this blog! I have really enjoyed opening up a window into my life (and all my random thoughts) for you all!

Please continue (or start) to message me or comment on posts- I love reading your comments, and I love to know who is reading:) If you have any topics you want me to post about, I am always open for suggestions!

Here's to 3 more years!

(My original room posting set-up)

Welcome to Virginia

This is the crazy weather we have been dealing with! Probably why everyone is sick. Can we say, "indecisive?"

Unbroken

I just finished a great book that I have to share with you. It is called "Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption," and it is by the author of "Seabiscuit" Laura Hillenbrand.

A quick summary: It follows the life of Louis Zamperini, a collegiate record holder in the mile and Olympian, who served in World War Two and became a POW in Japan. It sounds educational, and it is, but it is so much more. It is about the human spirit and what people can put up with to survive and how a person's outlook and attitude make SUCH a HUGE difference. Coming from the counseling perspective, this is such an important lesson for people to learn. Life is not fair nor easy, but it is our attitude and outlook that can make or break us. It also brings to mind what it would take for us as Americans/people to torture and hurt people from other cultures. When would we become brainwashed enough to hurt so easily? Are we in some ways already doing it? Could we survive with others doing it to us in a day and age where we live in such comfort and luxury? Are we losing part of ourselves that we need for survival? How would we treat life after such a horrific experience?

If you only read one book this year, this should be it.