Friday, February 13, 2015

Relationships

It's Friday, February the 13th yet all around is LOVE because VALENTINE'S day is tomorrow:)

I have spoken in the past of how Valentine's Day doesn't mean much to me in terms of feeling like I need to be in a relationship. It honestly doesn't bother me one way or the other. I actually view the day and time surrounding it as a time to show everyone around you how much they mean to you (I also have awesome friends who throw Valentine's Day gatherings so they can bring all the people they care about together)!

I wrote a few years ago about Valentine's Day during a particularly hard time for me. I said:

What is my ultimate goal or wish? Is it a certain job, travel, money, or family?  I couldn't help but think that it isn't something or someone: instead it is some people. Not necessarily romantic companions but people to share it all with; the ups and downs, the excitement, the worry, the fear, the difficulty and the successes. It all should not be tackled alone. No matter what you do can be made fun or special with those people beside you ... I am lucky that many people in my life can do that.


My friends, all of you, are magnificent people who touch the lives of many, including me. I am lucky to know each and everyone of you. Because I think that true love, true soul mates, are those that grow up with you and stick by you and are your partners in crime even when all the complexities and distances of life get in the way. They are who you know at seven and seventy-seven, some for only a short while and some for your whole life, some to help you through one part and others to stand by you through it all. You may not live with them or know them your whole life, you may not gaze into each other's eyes and share romantic moments and feelings (though that could be argued), but the love you have for your friends can often be the most intimate kind, because it is truly non-binding and without expectations: one done out of pure choice and love.

I love my friends. I look forward to a life with them. They are my constant and true valentines.


I had to reinstate that quote from my baby 24-year-old-self (wasn't I so wise?), because it still remains SO TRUE to my life today. My friends are the loves of my life at this point. No matter who comes and goes romantically, friends are who I could not and would not want to live this life without.

Relationships are tough. They leave you giddy, excited, happy and nervous at some times and uncertain, anxious, sad and angry at others. Often they can leave you questioning your worth, your goals, and your values despite your head telling you the contrary. Leading and feeling with your heart is such an emotional roller coaster. We all know that what is important to you should never be impacted by anyone else, and how you feel about yourself should always remain the most important. Though that is easier said than done!

I have spoken a lot over the past few months of self-worth, life values, DOING YOU, and living in accordance with what you feel is right at the time. I am constantly learning how to navigate the many facets of my life, including work, school, marathon training, friends, family and relationships, and I am a work in progress. But what I have learned is important, mainly that: sometimes letting go is the only answer, quitting is actually winning, and falling down is the only way to pick yourself back up stronger and smarter than before.  *Tell my teenage heart this and she would roll her eyes at you*

So on this Valentine's Day, I don't pretend to be the expert on any relationships, but I do know one thing: the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. (thank you, Carrie Bradshaw...my relationship guru).

Happy Valentine's Day today and all year round- surround yourself with people who love you. And love yourself and all your faults, no matter what.
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